My previous blog, Be Authentic, caused a firestorm of emotional responses… some supporting my views on the use of profanity in coaching and others staunchly opposed (including some folks who were ‘disappointed’ and/or ‘appalled’).
I appreciate those that took the time to respond – regardless of whether or not they agreed with me. I never have an issue with differing opinions as long as they are expressed respectfully.
A few follow up thoughts:
· I am not endorsing foul language – I am simply encouraging being authentic. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with appropriately peppering in curse words as a part of your communication repertoire if that is authentic to your personality and coaching style.
· I have never looked at words themselves as either good or bad. Your intent and the context in which you use them is the determining factor.
· Using foul language to demean, bully, or embarrass a player is unacceptable.
· Using profanity around children younger than high school age is also unacceptable.
· Dean Smith and Morgan Wootten are two Hall of Fame coaches who chose not to curse. Does that mean they were better coaches, better human beings, or better role models than Mike Krzyzewski or Bob Hurley (Hall of Fame coaches who use profanity)? No way! Their use of profanity hasn’t even remotely reduced their legacy as coaches, role models, or humanitarians. Nor has it tarnished the positive impact they have on their players.
· As a father, I will have no problem with my sons playing for a coach who uses profanity (under the parameters I have outlined).
· As a coach, if you choose to occasionally use profanity, you have the responsibility of making sure your players understand that what is said in the locker room or on the court may not be appropriate at the dinner table or in the classroom. There is a time and place for everything.
The underlying issue here is that everyone’s values are different. Our values are based on how we were raised, where we grew up, our religious beliefs, etc. All of these things shape who we are as individuals. We need to respect that we have different views.
There is no right or wrong to this issue.
I make my decisions based on my own values. I need to be able to look myself in the mirror and ask:
· Do I have a positive impact on the lives of my players?
· Do I respect and care about my players?
· Do they respect and care about me?
· Am I a role model to them? Do I set a good example?
· Do I do everything in my power to help them be successful on and off the court?
· Do I represent myself, my school, and my family with character and integrity?
Profanity or not…according to my value system… my answer to each of these questions is a resounding YES! I say that with full confidence and no hesitation.
Even with that said, I am all about personal growth and development.
So I am challenging myself to drastically cut down my use of profanity.
Significantly reducing my profanity will help me accomplish the three focal points of my life:
1. To be the best father I can be.
2. To be the best husband I can be.
3. To be the best coach I can be.
I have no intention of eliminating profanity. That would prevent me from being who I am. That would keep me from being authentic.
I owe it to myself and to the players I work with… to be me!
On a different topic, as someone who has been around high level basketball for the past decade, I have seen plenty of overbearing parents… but none quite as bad as the guy in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGDPCn1wJbM
Don’t go calling child services. That’s me in the video with my 11 month old twin sons, Luke and Jack. I am ‘raising champions’ in the game of life.
Love your kids, support your kids, encourage your kids, inspire your kids... but don't force your kids.
Let them mature at their own pace... and let them enjoy being kids. If it's in them to be superstars... don't worry... that will reveal itself over time.
I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this follow up blog and my pledge to reduce my cursing.
Feel free to email me privately at Alan@StrongerTeam.com or share your thoughts publicly through www.Twitter.com/AlanStein (put @AlanStein in your Tweet) or post comments at www.Facebook.com/StrongerTeam.
I value your input,
Alan Stein
www.StrongerTeam.com
www.Twitter.com/AlanStein
www.Facebook.com/StrongerTeam.com
PS: I removed the ‘comments’ section from my blog months ago because of SPAM. I was getting 50+ SPAM comments/messages per day. I am working to have a comments section implemented again very soon.